I can't imagine . . .

I can’t imagine what it would be like if we could celebrate your 93^rd birthday today the day before the Fourth of July.  So on this day, I’m thinking about you Pop . . .

I can’t imagine what it was like when you first landed in the United States following your father to San Francisco, the Gold Mountains.  Did you ever miss China and home?  Did you long for the familiar places, people, sights and sounds?  Did you miss your friends?  Was life that hard back in China to make you step out to the edge of your known world?  Did you have hope?

I can’t imagine arriving at the age of 17 years old by yourself-- what were you thinking when they held you for those weeks on Angel Island?  How did you survive this first welcome while they interrogated you?  What kept you going?  I want to know what inspired you?  Was this easier than your life in China?  Could you see into your future?

I can't imagine what it would have been like to learn to speak English under the pressure of trying to live each day in this new land, this new culture as I’ve only known you to speak English and Chinese fluently.  What struggles did you have when no one could understand you?  How did you find your way through all of this newness and strange ways?  I only saw your confidence and persistence, never slowing down.

I can’t imagine that you ever had any doubts as I’ve only known you to be confident and never unsure of your surroundings.  What opportunities did you look forward to?  What did you endure in this new and strange land?  I only saw your joy and humor and sometimes laughter.

I can’t imagine how you made your way through.  Did you have help figuring things out and finding your way through the new systems and cultures here?  I’ve only saw you to be steady, stable and hardworking, working nights and weekends.  Always working.  

I can’t imagine what doubts you may have had for your future.  What kind of challenges did you have to face and overcome?  How did you keep hope alive when the immigrant's life was so hard, the opportunities so narrow?  I saw your sensibilities, your persistence, your resilience.  Never bitter nor cynical.  And I wonder if I could ever imagine my life filled with such unknowns, so many challenges, and such hardships.

And I am forever grateful for you, my pop, who has shown what it takes to live a dream, to hope when all things seem to be against you, to work hard, to work hard and never give up.  To take risks with no safety net other than your own soul and strength.  To be an immigrant in an unfriendly world and still come up positive, joyful and grateful.  I owe you one - save me a seat at the mah jong table.

Chinatown, circa 1954; Josie was in school and missed being in this picture.